


Soulmates by Force

by Ofsweetestdreams



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Highschool AU, M/M, Modern AU, Past Character Death, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, it's dysfunctional at first, mordern setting, present character death, scars from injury, soul mark, soul mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7346164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofsweetestdreams/pseuds/Ofsweetestdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{This is a repost from FF. net. Rebooted as well.}</p><p>What if the most important event in your life could be told by a single mark on your wrist? What if it remained a blur up until the time it decided to choose to let you know? Would you be angry? Scared? Happy? Kanda is only two of these things, and I bet you can guess which. But there's little he can do when his mark decides it's time for him to meet his life partner. Sort from running, which he' unsure would even help at this point, he's forced to juggle the last few months of his high school career, his straining relationships and now his newly found soul mate? But what if they didn't like him? Well thing just got a lot more complicated than he ever wanted them to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning of the End

The heat of the sun bore down on Kanda’s back as he walked downtown. It was nearing summer and he could already tell that this year summer was going to be hell for him. Probably everyone else too, but that’s not what he cared about. Absently he wished that Daisya’s bike was actually fixed so he could’ve had his car back and driven there, but that’s just how it happened he guessed. Kanda kicked a few rocks out of the way as he continued on his quest to the local park. Lavi had called him and bugged him to come meet him there, for reasons he didn’t care to know. In fact, he had hung up on Lavi the first five times he called, which then resorted to Lavi calling Tiedoll and from there Tiedoll had nagged him until he agreed to meet Lavi. “Social interactions are good for you!” Tiedoll had said. Yeah right.  
As he trudged on, he couldn’t help but wonder what Lavi intended to speak with him about, surely he would’ve known had he just listened the first time Lavi tried to talk with him. But the things that interested the red-haired Rabbit could be so intensely boring. Either that or just down right annoying. Though maybe it had something to do with his latest fixation, the Soul Markers. They were the things that lie on every person’s wrist from the moment they’re born and stay there until they meet their eventual demise. Kanda hated them; the hated the idea that there was some other force out there that was controlling some aspect of his life. An aspect he’d really like to have total control over. Of course, there were the nuts out there who believed it to be the workings of God, or some other deity and worshipped their markings as a sign of divine intervention.  
Kanda hated that too.  
Why would someone pray to a god or goddess that was intent on controlling them? Certainly not him. And while the rest of his family had no strong religious connections, they were all a bit more ambivalent about their own markings. Though Tiedoll never fully would explain anything about his own and why they weren’t around. Ah well, just more of the man’s eccentrics Kanda supposed.  
He kicked up a bit of dust before settling on a park bench that sat under a row of green trees and just behind him a few kids tumbled about in the grass. Glancing down at his wrist to look at the blurred and ever changing letters and numbers Kanda mused that Lavi must have found something pretty “interesting” about the mark if he was eager to jump away from one of his usual hiding spots just to tell somebody when they both knew fully well this could’ve waited till tomorrow.  
It wasn’t like the markings were part of some sort of legend or great prophecy, they were a part of everyone’s lives and considered fairly normal, aside from the debates of the religious and the non-religious. If you asked Kanda, it didn’t really matter if it was evolution telling you to just wait one more damn day or some other supernatural force. They were there to stay and people should just shut up about it and focus on the more important things in life. Of course, that wasn’t to say that anyone would actually listen. No, in fact most tend to do the exact opposite, what with a whole genre of romance dedicated to finding “the one” sooner than your clock. Honestly, the things they pander to young women and middle aged spouses who have too much free time.  
But still Kanda wondered about his own soul mate. What would they be like? Would they be able to stand each other? Probably not, but still the thoughts did edge at him sometimes.  
To his left a cheery voice called him name and Kanda sighed through his nose. It was about damn time. “What did you get lost on your way here?”  
“Ouch, Yuu, I just had to get away from Gramps long enough to meet you!” Kanda’s eyes narrowed.  
“What, and you couldn’t have waited until after you actually finished whatever task he gave you?” Lavi elected to ignore Kanda’s last comment in favor of launching into whatever it was that he had wanted to talk about in the first place.  
“So you know how college is right around the corner?” Kanda snorted, of course he did. Just three more months and then they were gone for good. “Well, I’ve been thinking about making my major the study of mankind, more specifically these.” He pointed to the mark on his wrist. Of course, Kanda thought. It just had to be that. It wasn’t like the other was completely dumb. In fact, he did quite excellent in several areas of study, though he often complained that they bored him to ‘near tears’.  
“Of course you are.” Lavi rolled his eyes.  
“Well duh, I just said so!” He tugged on Kanda’s arms.  
“By the way, I kinda sorta also told Allen that we were going to meet him at his shop!” Kanda pulled back, steeling himself against any further attempts to pull him along.  
“Then go by yourself, I’m not forcing myself to stay at that little brat’s house.”  
“I already told Tiedoll you would! You wouldn’t want me to tell him you didn’t show up and poor Allen was oh so devastated!” Kanda growled.  
“You wouldn’t.”  
“Try me!” Lavi’s grin widened.  
“Why do you care so much that I go anyway? We don’t like each other and you know that perfectly well.”  
“Of course I do! But you’re both my friends,” Kanda frowned though Lavi made no mention of the sour look. “And I want you two to start getting along better. Besides, who knows, you two might just get stuck together anyway; your marks are pretty close together. I mean look, Allen had that pattern yesterday!” Kanda deftly hit Lavi on the shoulder.  
“Don’t you even dare make a joke about that.” Kanda sat quiet for a moment. “But fine, only because I know you’ll tell the old man and I don’t want to deal with him. I’ll go.” Lavi let out a laugh and tugged Kanda along, seemingly not as upset about the pain in his shoulder as he previously was.  
Allen’s shop sat in the poorer part of their small town; sandwiched in between two older and near abandoned apartment complexes. In its heyday that little area might have held much of the bustle of everyday life for the town. Though that was not the case anymore and it was for that exact same reason Cross set up shop there nearly ten years prior. Cross was gone most of the year, leaving Allen take care of the items in the shop and sell whenever he could. Honestly it was a mystery how they even stayed open, though Kanda guessed the shop must have had a cult following that waited for Cross to bring back artifacts from distant countries with eager curiosity and were willing to pay just enough money to keep the shop going.  
Atop of the shop sat a small apartment that the boy called home. Kanda didn’t know much, or cared to know much, about Allen but he did know that Cross was his adoptive guardian and the apartment was never really considered a real home to him.  
The pair soon reached the shop and Lavi wasted no time in bounding in and making himself at home. “Alleeeeeen!” He hollered, aiming to make as much noise as humanly possible.  
“tch, you’re too loud.” Kanda muttered, leaning his hip against the nearest counter that he was fairly certain could hold his weight.  
“It’s the only real way to get him to noti-“A dusty rag hit Lavi’s face with a soft ‘thud’.  
“I’m here, I’m here. What do you want?” Allen laughed, reaching over to swipe the rag from Lavi’s head. Twisting the rag around before tossing it onto the counter Allen sighed, a smile still on his face. That smile quickly dropped when he noticed Kanda leaning on the other side of the counter. “What’s he doing here?” Allen jabbed a finger in Kanda’s direction.  
“I thought it’d be fun to get the whole group together!” Allen huffed and crossed his arms.  
“Then where’s Lenalee?” Allen and Kanda chorused. They exchanged a heated glance before looking over at Lavi once again.  
“Oh don’t be like that you two. I tried getting her out but her brother wouldn’t let her. Something about ‘sibling bonding time’ or something like that. So it’s just us!” Kanda didn’t pity Lenalee right then; anything had to be better than this.  
“Well you obviously have something to say, so just some out with it already.” Kanda snapped, which earned him a glare from Allen.  
“Yeah Lavi, go ahead!” Allen encouraged in a much nicer tone, turning a sickly sweet gaze towards Kanda when he was done.  
Lavi excitedly held out of his wrist. “Look at the date!” Allen did so while Kanda simply stared, unamused for the most part. “It reads two weeks from now.” Allen reported. “Lavi that’s great!” Oh right, the kid just had to be excited about this crap.  
“I know! Hey, let’s see yours!” Before Allen could get a word in, Lavi had pulled Allen’s right arm towards himself and was reading the timer. “Woah…” Lavi breathed.  
“What?” Allen peered over. The time read exactly April 5. After checking his phone, Allen was able to confirm that the date today was April the fourth.  
“I’ve never seen a date that clear before.” Kanda peered over slightly, his curiosity slightly peaked. It was true, most marks stayed blurred and indecisive up until the final minutes of actually meeting the other person. “You know what this means right?”  
Allen raised a brow, prompting the idea that no, he did not know what Lavi meant. “It means that your soul mate is probably going to be someone you know; someone close to you!”  
“Are you sure about that?” Kanda replied. The Rabbit said a lot of things like that, and only half of them ever tended to be true.  
“Positive! This one’s backed by actual scientific study!” Allen laughed.  
“Well then why don’t you go get it and show us it tomorrow? I need to close up for the night.” Lavi looked down at his phone.  
“Crap, you’re right! I have to get back before I’m dead meat! See you guy’s tomorrow!” Lavi waved before heading out into the quieting day. Without the connecting member of the group, both were left in awkward silence. Picking the rag back up, Allen walked a bit away, not facing Kanda.  
“Don’t you have somewhere better to be?” Kanda scoffed.  
“Anywhere is better than here.”  
“Well then get a move on.”  
“Gladly.” Kanda stopped just before the door. “I pray for whoever has the displeasure of having to be stuck with you for the rest of their life.” And with that he was out and headed back home.  
The cold air bit Kanda’s skin as he stepped out from the bathroom and into the empty hallway. He walked into his room and sat down, rubbing a spare towel through his hair. It was when he pulled away that he noticed something strange. The date of the mark on his wrist read April fifth, but the date still remained blurred, as if it was still trying to decide on something.  
‘How odd.’ He thought, dropping the towel into the hamper beside his bed. Kanda moved to get ready for bed as his mind raced, and despite all his declarations that he couldn’t care less about the whole thing, the idea of meeting what everyone insisted on calling their “special someone” made his heart jump into his throat. What would tomorrow be like? He glanced at the clock on his bedside. The time read nine fifteen p.m. Well there was no way he was going to get to sleep now. He grabbed the book closest to him, a book on exotic plants, and flipped open to a random page.  
Well if this wasn’t a time waster, he didn’t know what else was.


	2. Long Way Home

Kanda tapped his pencil impatiently against his desk; just ahead of him the teacher drew several diagrams that would be needed to complete the homework by the following Monday. He snuck a glance down at his notes and noticed with no small displeasure that he was behind by several diagrams. It wasn’t his fault though, at least not from what he thought. That morning his mark had solidified and not only that but as he reached for the cereal from the cabinet Daisya noticed and just had to open is huge mouth about it. And of course it just had to be the day Tiedoll’s morning meeting was cancelled so he was home to hear and make a big deal over the whole thing.  
“It’s not every day you find the person the stars destined you for!” Tiedoll, of course, was only mostly teasing in fatherly fashion. Nonetheless it sent Kanda in such a tizzy to the point where he nearly crashed his car on the way to school and managed himself a near fight with the gang that hangs out near his parking spot. The head of the gang, Tyki, deescalated the situation on the grounds that they didn’t want trouble with so many people around, but Kanda knew the real reason was that he and Tyki knew each other. Not well sure, but they had lived on the same street since middle school and their fathers would have no trouble contacting one another. It made getting into trouble hard, not that Kanda ever had the drive to do so. It was only that some of the things he just happened to do incited trouble, he didn’t go searching for it. At least not without good cause.  
A paper ball hit Kanda in the back and he flinched before turning sharply to search out the culprit. A mass of giggling Lavi caught his sight almost instantly and he scowled before turning back around. No, today was not the day to be dealing with Lavi’s usual bullshit. Kanda slumped back down into his seat, feebly trying to catch up with the teacher’s notes. His phone buzzed in his pocket; letting out a huff Kanda pulled it out, keeping it close to his leg to check it.  
‘Daisya told me about what happened this morning.’-Lavi  
‘How come I’m always the last to know?!???!!! TT TT TT’- Lavi  
Kanda tried his best not to look annoyed, but failed miserably. ‘Because I don’t like you.’ He shut his phone off and slid it back into his pocket, but not before getting a look at the time. There was fifteen more minutes left of first period and for that Kanda was thankful. The rest of the period passed with little interruption and Kanda was the among the first out of the door when the bell rang.   
Kanda tromped through the hallway, his irritation and dare he say it, anxiety, rising to dangerous levels. When he finally managed to make it to his second period class he was already exhausted with it. He took a seat at the back of the class and slumped forward a bit. He was in no mood for an Anatomy lesson today, but that’s what was in store for him. At least it was a Friday, maybe he’d drive up to the bigger city to look at the shops up there. This town was far too small to have a mall and the only prominent shops that remained after the fact was the grocery store, the auto shop and… Allen’s.. whatever the hell it was. Kanda would rather willingly sit in the waiting room of an auto shop than go see that Beansprout. He was sure the items in his shop weren’t worth much anyway.  
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Allen passed though the doorway, unusually late and looking a little more than worse for wear. Kanda huffed, well it’s not like it was any of his concern anyway. The boy could take care of himself and out in the so-called ‘real world’ there wouldn’t be anyone to help him whenever he picked a petty fight, so why should Kanda? The teacher, Ms. Fucho, called for attention and Kanda straightened up a bit. Behind him he heard Allen shuffle into his seat and set his stuff in its proper place. For all he complained about the other, he sure couldn’t go five minutes without thinking of him. Ahead of them the teacher continued with the lesson and Kanda was forced to pull his attention back to the front and focus. However, having Allen at the back of the class made Kanda more conscious of his wrist. He couldn’t help but sit on the fact that both their markers had the same day. It was almost like… no! Kanda squeezed his eyes shut, tilting his head forward. No, they hadn’t gotten along since about fifth grade and they never would. To put them together would be the ultimate form of torture; the universe’s spit on the making of their lives.   
Kanda felt light headed; how would he even know when he met his soul mate? What would happen? He almost didn’t want to ask Lavi, but if there was any way that he was going to be stuck with Allen he wanted to know everything he could do to avoid it. He pulled out his phone and shot a quick text to Lavi and within mere minutes he got a reply.   
‘History is so boooring!’  
‘Krory is detailing everything. E v e r y t h I n g.’  
‘Also, if you must know, when you meet your soul mate you feel as if you just had the weight of the world lifted from your shoulders... you hear birds… see hearts… yadyadayada. All that Jazz.’  
‘Aaaaand then the initials of your soulmate are etched underneath the date. Nothing major. But it only happens after a certain time. There’s no way of knowing until it happens.’  
‘Btw I’m totally checking out your mark during lunch and you can’t stop me.’  
Kanda stared at his phone in shock. Maybe a bit longer than he should have because before long the teacher was standing over him with an expectant hand out. All around him a few kids gasped in mock horror, apparently taking amusement in his shame. Or they would, if he had any. Kanda grunted and turned his phone off before placing it into the teacher’s hand.  
“You’ll get it back after class.” The woman turned on her heel to resume teaching the class. Whatever, it’s not like it was that big of a deal. Behind him he heard a very distinct snicker. It sounded like.. Moyashi. Kanda frowned but refused to turn back. He’d deal with that little brat later, when he wasn’t busy trying to concentrate to the lesson.   
Not too long later, maybe longer than Kanda realized but to be perfectly honest he did space out a little, the bell rang and Kanda promptly got up to head to third.   
“ Getting a little hardcore there huh, Kanda?” Kanda let out a sigh, of course it had to be him. Of all the….  
“I don’t know what you mean.” He replied not turning around.  
“ Oh I’m sure your dad would just looove to hear all about this!” Kanda tensed.  
“Don’t.” Allen’s brow rose.  
“ I mean I haven’t spoken to him in so long, but I’m sure..” This time Kanda really did turn around. Grabbing Allen’s shirt, Kanda leaned in close.  
“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay the hell away from my family.” While letting go he noticed.. something. It was like an itch on his wrist. Allen must have felt the same because he was reaching down to scratch at his wrist. Kanda lifted his wrist and slowly started to push the fabric of his shirt back, curious as to what in the hell was happen- oh. Lo and behold on his wrist lie his mark. But there was something different about this mark. Below the date sat the initials A.W. in neat scrawl almost like Allen’s hand writing. Kanda managed to look up in time to catch Allen’s just as shocked gaze. For a moment his world came crashing down. This couldn’t be happening. No, not to him. Not EVER with.. Moyashi of all people. No. Kanda refused.  
“Oh hell no.” Kanda muttered before storming out of the room, barely remembering to grab his phone on the way out. He couldn’t think, storming to the second storey bathroom of the west hall with his boots thunking as he went. There was no way he could ever get through third period with his head a mess like it was so he decided the bathrooms were a suitable choice. At least until he could get his thoughts together.   
He threw his bag against the tiled floor in order to rest over the sink. There was no way, he and Allen hadn’t even really talked since fifth. And even then it was a tossup of whether or not they would get along. But their relationship only really seemed to crumble after Alma’s… Death. After all this time the word was still hard to choke out. It weighed his tongue down like lead and left a hole where his gut should be. No this wasn’t how it was supposed to go at all; at the very least it should’ve been Alma. They got along a lot better when he was alive and it just seemed.. right to him. Like every sign was pointing them together; that was what they were supposed to be right? Right, Kanda assured himself. And no amount of bullshit fate was going to convince him otherwise.  
Running the tap, Kanda let the water fill in his cupped hands before splashing it over his face. It just wasn’t fair; just when he got his life centered again, it got thrown right back off its axis. There was no way he could explain this to Tiedoll, absolutely none. Of course the man would be happy. Allen was an upstanding citizen with no apparent criminal record to speak of. But that just didn’t sit with Kanda. He knew who the boy was and how irritating he was. Just how deceitful and underhanded he could be, but then there was also brave and outgoing and… Kanda growled searching for his bag. He could just fake illness and go home.   
He reached into his bag and grabbed his phone. The screen flashed with a missed text.  
‘I’m headed off on a last minute business trip. I’ll be back Monday. Take care of your brothers, I love you.’-Tiedoll  
Kanda blinked. Well this wasn’t an unusual event, but to happen now was sheer luck. Well that solidified any doubts. He checked the time, almost time for fourth. He could do make up work, no problem. He grabbed his bag and slid it on. He was eighteen so signing himself out should be no problem.  
The lady at the front desk was skeptical but still let him sign himself out and not long after he was out the door and head towards his car. He didn’t know where he was headed, but he needed to drive. Just to clear his head about this all. He turned up the radio, letting the music take over.   
‘We drive around these streets tonight  
The city talks to me; she’s changed with time.  
I’m moving on and on again,  
The same scene plays on and on again.’  
Yeah, Kanda thought, this was a good song for the moment. He leaned back, the tension in his shoulders releasing a bit. There was no escaping this, he thought sullenly. This was where his life was meant to go and he had no control over it.   
The light faded beneath the blurred skyline from Kanda’s car. He hadn’t noticed the change until his phone rang. He picked up, putting it on speaker.   
“Yeah?”  
“Yuu, where the hell are you? You were supposed to be home hours ago!” Daisya nearly shouted. Oh right. Kanda looked at the clock on the dashboard, six p.m.  
“I’m going to visit a friend. Do you need me?” The line on the other end was silent for a moment.  
“..No actually. Just be home before eleven, or give us a call, yeah?”  
“Yeah.” Kanda hung up, placing the phone in the console. Well, he might as well not lie and go visit Alma. After all, it had been some time.   
Time seemed distorted as he approached his friends grave. He kneeled down staring at the stone slab intently.   
“.. I have no flowers to give,” He began suddenly. “I hope you’ll forgive me. For everything. I never wanted it to turn out like this. I still miss you, you know. But don’t let anyone know, it’ll be the end of me.” Kanda fell silent unsure of what else there was to say. He spent about thirty or so more minutes in silence before getting up and leaving his friend. He regretted having to walk away like this again.  
Kanda decided that rather than go home, he’d go into town. What little shops they actually had would serve as a better distraction than just sitting at home and fretting. Not that Kanda ever fretted.   
He left his car parked and walked up and down the streets, making note of where his car was parked. It wasn’t too far from Allen’s… no. No. Absolutely not. And yet, even with that refusal, he found himself right in front of the shop. He sighed, well his conscious wasn’t going to give him rest, was it? He found that the doors were unlocked, but there was something off about the shop. All the lights were on but there was no one there. For all intents and purposes it seemed like the place should have been packed.   
Taking a step forward, he called out. “ Anyone there?”  
“Go away.” Came a muffled reply. Kanda kept searching despite the reply and stumbled across a very bruised Allen, more so than earlier today, pressing a rag full of ice to his cheek.   
“ Are you deaf, I said go away?” The boy was facing away from Kanda.   
“Tch, no way. I just got here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting this fic back again. After some thought, I've decided to update every Saturday. This chapter was meant to be longer, but an emergency trip to the doctor kinda cut that short. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	3. Take it Slow

Now Kanda wasn’t the most eloquent of people, especially not when emotions were involved. But how he had managed to maneuver his way over to Allen and check his eye without being thrown out yet was completely beyond him.   
“Who did this to you?”  
“No one-I fell.” Kanda rolled his eyes. He knew what it looked like to fall and that just didn’t add up.  
“Sure.”  
Allen huffed but said no more. There was a long stretch of silence between them as Kanda dumped the watery rag into the sink beside them and sat down again. What should he say? Should he say anything at all? This was such a strange twist to their antagonistic relationship that Kanda had no idea what to make of it. From the corner of his eye, Kanda caught Allen looking down at his wrist.  
Kanda managed a small smirk, “Looks like I’ll have your chicken scratch for handwriting stuck on my arm forever.” Allen shot him a glare, though it didn’t seem to hold its usual heat.  
“Yeah well it looks better than what’s on my wrist! I mean look at this, the lettering looks awful!” In his defense Kanda’s handwriting wasn’t terrible, he just wrote fast… yeah, that was it.  
Kanda reached over and shoved Allen’s shoulder lightly. It was a small an unassuming gesture, yet Kanda didn’t fail to notice the way Allen stiffened under his fingertips. “Maybe having your terrible handwriting on my wrist isn’t so bad, it could always be worse. It could be Lavi’s.” Allen let out a snort.  
Kanda felt a buzzing coming from his pockets. Pressing the home button on his phone he noted the time. 8:15 pm. Ah hell he was in for it now wasn’t he? He made the call to Daisya who was considerably less than happy he wasn’t home.  
“You’re so lucky I don’t have work tomorrow. Where are you anyway?” Kanda paused for a moment.  
“…At a friend’s. Why?” Kanda didn’t have time to note the slightly shocked expression on Allen’s face.  
“Well Are you coming home anytime soon?” Kanda grunted in affirmation and hung up. There was a long silence of stretch between them before Kanda got up and made for the door.  
“Hey, wait.”   
“Yeah?” Kanda stopped, turning back slightly to look at Allen.  
“You live on the other side of town, right?”  
“Yeah, so?”  
“Well why don’t you… stay? I mean it is pretty late and it’d be a hassle to head back now and…” Kanda tossed the thought back and forth in his head. It could be worse and maybe-maybe he was wrong about Allen. Maybe he had let Alma’s death create a bigger hole than he thought. Though he was loathe to admit that could be the case. But… but it couldn’t hurt to at least stay the night. To try and maybe reconnect with who the boy had apparently become in all those years.   
“So…?” Kanda startled, hiding his face with a cough.  
“Alright, fine. But only because I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow.”  
\---  
As it turned out, Allen was still the silly and excitable boy he’d always been. Kanda really missed it; missed the friendship they’d had. There was nothing of substance there usually unless Lavi and Lenalee were there. They both were seated in from of Allen’s old t.v. set watching the same movies they used to.  
“Hey remember when we walked to the park from here and Cross almost lost his head when he found us?” Kanda huffed a bit.  
“Yeah and he found us hanging upsidown from the top of the jungle gym. I thought Tiedoll was going to kill me for that.” Those were the better times he could remember; not to say his life was terrible. He was just... happier back then. He didn’t feel that much in the way of happiness anymore.  
“Like Tiedoll would ever do that, he’s too sweet of a man. Cross, however, had me doing his half of the chores for a month.” Kanda watched the way Allen smiled. It warmed the place in his gut that he thought he’d been missing, the part he thought was gone forever.   
There was a moment of silence before Allen spoke up. “So, what do you want to do about this?” He gestured to the space between their arms.   
“What do you want to do about it?” Nice one Kanda, nice one.   
“Well.. I mean. I don’t know. Honestly I thought you’d never talk to me again.” Allen rested his chin atop his crossed arms, staring intently at the array of movies nestled before him on the t.v. stand.  
Kanda took a breath and forced himself to relax. “ I wasn’t planning on it. Then,” He raised his arm, though Allen wasn’t looking anyway. “This happened.”   
Allen’s demeanor didn’t change; Kanda thought quickly of a way to salvage the conversation. Well wasn’t this a sudden change of heart? It was unexpected but Kanda knew in the end they would both be miserable if he didn’t at least try. Plus, was there any harm in that?   
“Well then.. let’s just see what happens.” He looked away from Allen’s shocked expression. “It’s not like there’s anything to lose anyway.” He didn’t miss the way Allen’s face lit up, like a little puppy’s.  
“I’d like that, Kanda. I really would.”   
“Good, now shut up and watch the movie. Your favorite part’s coming.”  
This might just be a good thing for them, at least the hole in his gut thought so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without You plays in the distance.
> 
> Honestly though it's been so long, but I love this story and I hated that I dropped it. So here I am, back with more teenage angst.


	4. Fair Rides and First Tries

The next week went by much slower than Kanda thought it would. And much more uneventful, though he guessed he should be grateful for that. Things were finally calm for once and it managed to give him some time to think about everything. He didn’t yet know how he felt about the whole situation with Allen and he wasn’t sure that would come so easy between them. Kanda knew it was silly to hate Allen for something that wasn’t even his fault. It just felt so much easier to push everyone away than to face the pain that he knew would come with their support. Eventually a wall formed in between the distance he had created and isolated his friends out of habit. 

He had a feeling that just wouldn’t fly anymore, however, and he had a lot of explaining to do for the past few years. Kanda shook his head to shake away the somber thoughts. There was no use crying now, what was done was done. He passed the kitchen and moved into the living room, settling into the couch in front of the television. Today he had the entire house to himself with Tiedoll being gone again and his brothers out for the day. It was a brother’s day as Daisya had dubbed it and Kanda had only slightly politely declined. 

“I’d rather eat my own hand.” He had responded. See? He could have been worse. 

Kanda flicked through the channels before settling on some paranormal mystery show. How could anyone believe them at all? The lead “investigator” was clearly hyping things up more than they actually were. Plus, if ghosts were real then he would have known by now. Beside him his phone buzzed.

Lavi. Ugh.

He picked up the phone, not even getting a chance to ask what Lavi was calling for before the other jumped into a long ramble about his plans for the day. 

“…so would you like to join us?” Kanda rolled his eyes.

“Join you where? I could barely understand you.”

“To the fair of course! You really gotta listen better Yuu.” Kanda growled.

“Shut up. Why should I go?”

“Because Allen’s going to be there.”

Kanda paused. They hadn’t really talked all that much, though there wasn’t anything really wrong. Things were just… awkward between them. It was such a sudden shift in dynamic and they couldn’t have planned for it. But maybe they could just try; maybe today. Kanda took a deep breath before putting the phone back up to his ear. 

“Alright I’ll go.”

“Awesome Yuu! Just one more thing though.”

“What?”

“Well since I don’t have a car and neither Lenalee or Allen drive…” Kanda sighed again, this time not bothering to take his face away from the phone. Of course that’s what he wanted. Well he already said yes so he might as well.

“Fine but if any of you spill anything in my car you’re walking home.”

Surprisingly Lenalee was the easiest to pick up; she was already waiting outside by the time he pulled up. 

“Kanda, I haven’t seen you in forever. He accepted the hug from her, letting one arm slip around her shoulders. From the window he could feel her brother’s gaze on him, boring straight into his bones. He grunted a response and pulled away from the driveway, making his way over to Lavi’s house. As expected it took the teen about ten minutes to even exit the house and five minutes more to actually get settled in. 

Immediately he leaned forward giving the two a big hug from the back seat. “It’s good to see you guys again! We haven’t all hung out like this in years!” Kanda resisted the urge to push Lavi’s hand away and opted instead to dive to Allen’s apartment. But still he couldn’t shake the weight of the words that had settled in his stomach. It was his fault they all weren’t really as close as before, wasn’t it? He mentally scoffed; of course, it wasn’t. They all had the ability to talk to each other with or without him. Lavi was just making a general observation as he was prone to do. But still.  
Allen walked out of the front door just as Kanda pulled up, as Kanda expected; The guy was punctual he’d give him that. Allen waved to the trio as he got in, all saccharine smile and sunny disposition. A different kind of Allen than the one he had been given the opportunity to remember a week ago. He liked that one much better, that Allen was much more natural than the one he saw now. 

They drove in moderate silence, with the occasional chatter and Lavi managing to stretch himself over the seats to change the station.   
“Hey cut that out! Don’t get me pulled over.” Kanda elbowed Lave back into his seat. Giggles filled the car and for a moment Kanda thought that the car was much homelier that way. It was how it was meant to be wasn’t it? They reached the fair sooner than he thought but parking was filled so being forced into the parking lot across the street they were being forced to walk all the way back over. 

“But it’s so faaar.” 

“No one cares Lavi.”

“Lavi it’s fine.”

Lavi stepped closer to Lenalee, opting to see if she would have more pity on him than his other so called “friends”. Kanda felt a presence, one he assumed to be Allen fall beside him to match his pace.

“I didn’t think you’d make it Kanda.” Kanda hummed.

“I supposed it wouldn’t hurt to much to be here.” The joke, though delivered flat, was not missed by Allen. He nudged Kanda’s side playfully.

“Just admit it, you missed us.” He didn’t respond, instead pushing Allen in the shoulder. But he had and while he liked the sensation filling his gut, it must have been happiness and companionship but who knew, he also hated it. It reminded him of what he missed out on. 

The air smelled of greasy foods and sweat; admittedly not Kanda’s favorite scent. The fair was completely packed and it seemed as if everyone just suddenly lost their minds as soon as they stepped through the brightly colored arch way that served as the gateway into the fair. All around them bright lights and wild colors flashed and twirled. But as much as it was nauseating it was also amazing. 

Kanda fiddled with the wrist band tightly attached to his arm. “So now what?”

“Well where do you want to go?” Allen turned towards him that same smile as earlier spread across his face. Kanda really wished the other one would come back. Lavi scanned the grounds for any ride or game that looked interesting enough. 

“Ooh! Look guys!” Lavi’s finger extended towards what looked like a small roller coaster.   
Lenalee clapped her hands together. “That one looks interesting!” 

Allen nodded and Kanda shrugged. Well then, it seemed unanimous.

The coaster looked much larger up close and if Kanda was being honest it was sort of startling. Not that he’d ever admit that; the problem though was getting on it. Allen stepped by his side again.

“Stay in front of me.” Kanda didn’t have the presence of mind to ask why until they got onto the ride. Allen, it seemed, had placed them so that they would be next to each other and behind Lavi and Lenalee. Tension built in Kanda’s stomach as the operator checked their restraints. Was now a bad time to mention that he hated these kinds of rides?  
Far too late. The ride slowly started forward with a click, going up, up, up. Kanda felt his muscles tense as they neared the drop and… Kanda would swear thereafter that he totally, absolutely did NOT squeak. Allen had just heard someone else. Someone that was so not him.

“That was amazing!” Of course Lavi would love it. Kanda fought the urge to stick out his tongue at him. What, was he five?

“Where next?” Lenalee looked just as excited as Lavi though Kanda couldn’t hold as much of a grudge against her for that. She looked absolutely ecstatic, more-so than he had ever seen her and in all honestly Kanda knew she deserved this happiness so he held his tongue.   
Kanda shrugged feigning calmness but the lack of blood in his face and startled eyes betrayed him. Allen caught the look out of the corner of his eye and smiled a bit. 

“Well I want to check out the Ferris wheel but you two look ready for another trip on the coaster,” Allen joked easily. “Why don’t we split up and meet back in an hour. I have my phone on me in case we can’t find each other.” Lenalee nodded and pulled out her own phone.

“I have mine too. I’ll keep the sound on in case you need us.” And with that the group split and then they were pairs. Okay, Kanda could totally handle this. Maybe. But in case he didn’t Kanda made a mental note to text Daisya to stay out of his room and away from his stuff. 

The Ferris wheel was large but not nearly as intimidating as the coaster was. The tension that had been present quickly fled from Kanda’s posture and he allowed himself to take in more of the fair. The light was fading more as time went on and dusk made itself present to the world Kanda liked this time of day, it was always so peaceful.  
The line to the Ferris wheel was thankfully not as long as earlier so they were fairly close to the front. Kanda took the moment they had to inspect Allen; that smile had dropped from his face and in its place, was a sincerer one. That was the smile that Kanda had waited all day for. His heart fluttered and he forced himself to look anywhere else in an attempt to stop it. Unbeknownst to Kanda, Allen was doing the same thing. Kanda looked so much more relaxed when it was just them. There was something about Kanda that drew Allen in, something that promised both adventure and a place to go to. A place for comfort. 

Both were shaken from their thoughts by the ride operator ushering them into a seat. The operator seemed unpleased to be working this particular night and quickly checked the lock mechanism before moving them up to get more people on. Soon enough they were staring at the layout of the city from the heart of the fair. Kanda had to admit the view was breathtaking from where he sat.   
Allen leaned in a bit so their shoulders touched. “It’s so nice up here.”  
Kanda swallowed his spit. “Yeah.” Oh, nice one Casanova. Real smooth.  
Allen seemed to pick up on his nervousness, laughing a bit he locked their arms together and turned to face him a bit. “Nicer here with you. Thanks again for coming with us.” Kanda could only nod. There was a pause between them and then the next the he knew Allen’s lips were on his. The kiss itself was clumsy as Kanda had no prior experience. Hell he barely knew how to react, let alone hoe to act on the sudden burst of butterflies in his stomach in response to the boy kissing him. The very handsome boy who he had only reconciled with a week ago, who he had ignored and antagonized for years before that.

Allen felt how rigid Kanda was and gave a bit of a sigh before pulling away. Ever the gentleman he apologized, pulling away from Kanda’s side. He felt cold where Allen pulled away but he didn’t know how to fix the situation. It had all happened so fast and so soon and he didn’t even know what he did wrong to have to apologize for in the first place. Or was his kissing just really that abysmal?  
Either way he had not time to react as they made their descent and left the platform the ride was situated on. Kanda looked at his phone, noting they still had half an hour left. Well this was going to suck, if only he had time to process the situation at hand. But Allen was already two steps ahead, barely giving Kanda time to keep up with him.

Shit. This soulmate thing was harder than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super excited to bring the first half of this chapter to you guys! 
> 
> If you liked this chapter be sure to check out my tumblr, listed on my profile, for ways to support me! Though just dropping by is more than welcome! You can also talk to me there about the story and other works I may or may not have planned out!
> 
> Good evening, morning and night to you all


End file.
